Donning my fabulous safety gear, glistening helmet and brand new roller skates, I head to the local skate park to show off my skills. As I fly down the street, shouts of envy are hurled in my direction. "Put on some pants asshole!" Everyone is just jealous. As I barrel down the boardwalk towards the skate park, I notice a two men having a lovely picnic by the waterfront. "That's so sweet!" As I make my way closer to the couple, I notice one of the men looks very familiar. "Who is that lad? He looks like someone I-- Vincent!?" As I quickly blade over to the men, my shock turns to anger. "What are you doing Vincent!?" He abruptly turns to me and scowls. "I'm sorry, you couldn't satisfy me anymore, Jeff." Vincent's words chip away ferociously at my heart, as he continues. "So one day when you were shopping for patio furniture, I went to the video arcade and met Lupe Lopez." At this, Vincent and Lupe start to hardcore make-out.
Breathing heavily and in a cold sweat, I suddenly wake. I quickly sit up and glance around the room. Alone. I wipe my heavily perforated forehead. "What a terrible dream!" I proclaim. As I rub my eyes, I hear faint voices in the distance approaching. The voices get closer and louder. I can't make out what they're saying, but I hear lots of lisps. "I wonder who that could be?" I think to myself. Suddenly, with a loud bang, the door bursts open. Standing there before me in the doorway is none other than: Vincent DiBenedetto, AND LUPE.
Could this be the end of Vincent and Jeff!?
3 comments:
these posts are hilarious!
that's what I was saying too!
you make me want to touch myself
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